Black humour

Mr Huxley had been somewhat guarded about his need to make an appointment. Most prospective clients are only too happy to unburden themselves with their problems on the telephone, although most fall into one of the usual categories: toilet training, pulling on the lead, not coming back, and destructiveness. These were the big four, followed closely by Jumping Up, Chasing Cats, and Escaping.

Mr Huxley had an entirely different difficulty, and it had very little to do with his dog’s behaviour because, as we met in my office, one look led me to the conclusion that this was a problem I had dealt with once before. I have no doubt that in today’s modern, more enlightened world, this would not happen.

It was apparent that Mr Huxley had only one arm; the left one was missing, and in his right hand was a very excitable boxer dog called Jasper.

Regular readers will be aware that I am a huge fan of this particular breed. My overriding memory of Boxers is one of sheer joy. They always appeared to be bent in the shape of a banana with their little stump of a tail wagging furiously. They were the happiest of canines, and in my life of working with dogs, I can honestly say that I never met a bad one. I sincerely trust that this has not changed. Now that the docking of tails is illegal in the UK other than for medical reasons, the wagging of the tail might now bring about a painful whipping for anyone in close proximity.

A straightforward problem

Mr Huxley was a man in his late 20s, he wearily sat down, grinned and told me his tale of woe.

“It’s quite simple.”

“As you can see, it’s best to always forestall the question, even if it is never asked. It saves embarrassment and clears the air because, as you can see, I only have one arm.”

“The other one, or what’s left of it, is still in Ireland.”

This black humour is common among veterans, and I was reminded of a reported conversation between Simon Weston of the Welsh Guards, who suffered appalling burns, and Denzil Connick of the 3rd Battalion Parachute Regiment, who lost a leg. Both injuries were sustained in the Falklands War. Jim Davidson, the comedian, revealed this conversation when he was entertaining troops.

Simon to Denzil  “Hello Gimpy.”

Denzil to Simon, “Just talking about you, Weston. Are your ears burning?”

As I listened I noticed that Mr Huxley was telling me this in a matter of fact way as if he was recounting receiving a parking ticket. It was without rancour or self pity. Like so many before him he accepted his injury as the price he paid for serving his country.

Dog training classes

“It’s like this. I went to a dog training class, and the instruction was that the dog had to be walked on the left.”

Mr Huxley glanced ruefully at what remained of his left arm and continued.

“It appeared to cause a problem as they  suggested that I walk him on the left whilst holding the lead in my right hand.”

“It appears that the left side is mandatory  because working dogs and those doing competition are on that side.”

“Its ridiculous, it’s uncomfortable and surely its unnecessary, I have no intention of doing competition, I just want him to behave.”

“Another thought: I live in a rural area, and we walk along country lanes. The government’s advice is to walk towards the oncoming traffic, and with the dog on the left, it’s on the outside. Well, you wouldn’t put your child on the outside, so why your dog?”

“You are absolutely correct,” I replied. “Unfortunately, the accepted side for working dogs in competition is left, and the government advice for pedestrians is walking against the oncoming traffic.”

“Mr Huxley you have just raised an issue that has rumbled on in rural communities for years. This quite ludicrous adherence by a tiny minority of those who run dog training classes to ‘this walk on the left’ dogma.”

Mr Huxley allowed himself a smile at my terminology.

“It’s like this. I can give you the phone numbers of a couple of clubs that have no problem with walking dogs on the right if you feel ok with that.”

“Well, while I’m here, how about you getting me started,” he asked.

Basic training

We started with walking to heel using the quick turn method. This starts with the premise that the ideal place for the dog to be is roughly shoulder level with the owner’s leg. Each time the dog attempts to go too far forward, the owner does a swift about turn with the appropriate command. The dog swiftly grasps the concept that walking sedately by the owner’s side is infinitely better than constantly having to change direction. I note that this system is still in use today. As for coming back when instructed to do so, I recommended using rewards for obeying the command with the proviso that the incidence of failure must be kept to the bare minimum. For me, the principle being that more times the dog obeyed the instruction and was rewarded, this would inevitability lead to success.  Finally, I gave advice regarding socialisation, and with the lesson coming to an end, I gave M Huxley the telephone numbers to contact classes.

We shook hands and parted company, and I would never see Mr Huxley again. I did, however, receive a phone call several weeks later.

“David Huxley here. This is just a courtesy call, really. I followed your advice and am delighted to tell you that Jasper is now extremely well-behaved. I followed your instructions and never needed to go to classes. In fact, coming to see you saved me a bundle. My lesson with you was cheaper than a course of classes. Very good value for money. Thanks a lot, mate.

Hmm, I remember having a serious look at my fees!!