Just Nuisance

Whilst there is no official record of the birth of Nuisance, it was decided that his birthday was April 1st 1937. There is no record of who decided on the date, but whoever made the decision chose April Fools’ Day!! Mind you, considering his life story, nothing was surprising, but that date would become very significant later in his life.

He was sold to one Benjamin Chaney, who moved to Simon’s Town, South Africa, to run the United Service Club, taking his Great Dane with him. Strangely enough, there appears to be no information regarding what name his new owner gave to his dog.

Scrounger by nature

With the Club being extremely popular with the sailors, the Great Dane ingratiated himself with the patrons and enjoyed being on the receiving end of a wide variety of snacks, most of which were almost certainly not recommended as a healthy diet for a canine. The giant dog appeared to have no difficulty recognising sailors, presumably from their bell-bottom trousers and different collars and hats, as he ignored other military personnel. Having enjoyed the company of the matelots, he would accompany them back to their ship, HMS Afrakander, the local Royal Naval base in the town, whereupon he then settled down for a nap. Unfortunately, his chosen spot was at the top of the gangplank, which made it extremely difficult for the sailors to board and depart the ship. From the dog’s point of view, it was the perfect place, as nothing could possibly happen without him knowing. From this rather irritating habit, this extremely large Great Dane gained his name, which originally was, “You’re just a b****y Nuisance,” but in time became quite simply Nuisance.

The wrong side of the tracks

Mr Chaney unfortunately took a rather cavalier attitude to dog ownership, and Nuisance was allowed to wander anywhere he chose. He started taking train trips to Cape Town, a favourite destination for sailors when off duty, which brought him into conflict with the conductors on the state-owned railway company, South African Railways and Harbours. The seamen made every effort to hide Nuisance, but hiding a Great Dane was no easy task, and he was regularly ejected from the train. This caused Nuisance no distress at all as he simply waited for the next train and continued his journey. One of his less endearing traits was to stand on his hind legs, place his front paws on the conductor’s shoulders and growl, much to the amusement of the passengers. It should be noted that Nuisance was an extremely large Great Dane who, when he rose up on his hind legs, was 2 metres (6 feet 6 inches) tall, which, in fairness, must have been a rather intimidating experience for the conductors. Despite passengers offering to pay for his journey, the railway company sent Mr Chaney many demands that he pay the fares for his errant hound, confine it, or the dog would have to be put to sleep. A passenger even offered to buy a season ticket for the trains, but the Royal Navy had been made aware of the issues regarding the delinquent Great Dane and decided that, for the best interests of morale, the one way to bring the matter to a successful conclusion was to enlist Nuisance into the Royal Navy. This would solve the train problem because military personnel automatically travelled free.

Able Seaman Nuisance

Having decided that the dog would enlist and with the sort of efficiency for which the Navy is renowned, the documentation clearly shows that on 25th August 1939 an individual with the surname Nuisance, First name Just, his occupation being described as a Bonecrusher and his religious affiliation as Scrounger, enlisted in the Royal Navy. His signature was a paw print, and his religion was amended to Canine Devinity League (anti-vivisection) as this was more in keeping with the standards required for naval service. He was originally classed as an Ordinary Seaman, but in recognition of his previous voluntary service, he was instantly promoted to Able Seaman in order that he could claim rations; precisely what these rations consisted of is not noted, but there is ample photographic evidence that he did not go short. A sailor was allocated to ensure that his appearance was in keeping with the standards required of a naval recruit, ensuring he was properly groomed and wearing his hat on parade

For the next few years, Just Nuisance continued to boost the morale of sailors. He got “married” to another Great Dane called Adinda with whom he sired 5 puppies. The whole event was a fundraising event, which I am sure that Nuisance was delighted to take an active part in; however, Adinda was the one left to raise the puppies, and I guess nobody asked her if this was a good idea!! Incidentally, two of the puppies, Victor and Wilhelmina, were auctioned off to raise money for the war effort.

Nuisance continued to accompany the sailors on the train, in the pubs and accompanied them back to their ship, where he continued to create havoc on the gangplank.

Conduct unbecoming

Regrettably, Nuisance didn’t have an exemplary service record, and he was reported for a number of offences non-conducive to good military discipline. These offences included travelling without his travel pass, losing his collar, refusing to leave the pub at closing time, sleeping on a petty officer’s bed and being AWOL (absent without leave). For these breaches of military discipline, his many punishments included having all bones confiscated for seven days and removal of lampposts. There is no proof that any lampposts were removed, and I’m not quite sure how the removal of lampposts was going to be enforced. To be fair to Nuisance, some of the AWOL charges were the result of the pilot of the local reconnaissance plane looking for enemy submarines taking Nuisance (totally illegally) up for a flight. The pilot couldn’t confess, and anyway there is no evidence that any punishments meted out to Nuisance were in fact ever implemented!

Able Seaman Just Nuisance was discharged from the Navy on January 1^st 1944 for health reasons after a car accident left him with a thrombosis which was slowly causing him an increasing degree of paralysis. It was decided that in the 1st April Nuisance would be put to sleep, and the task was undertaken by the Naval Surgeon. His body was placed in a canvas bag, covered with the Royal Navy ensign and he was laid to rest with full military honours including the playing of the “Last Post and a Royal Marine firing party.” A simple granite gravestone at Klaver Camp on Red Hill behind the town and a statue in Jubilee Square ensure that this remarkable canine is never forgotten. Visitors to the Simon’s Town Museum will find an exhibition dedicated to Nuisance, which includes his official papers, his collar and various images.