The Landlubber Labrador

Details have been changed to protect anonymity 

“Good morning, is that Mr Hodson?”

It made a change from the usual inquiry which regularly came across as……

“Is that the dog man?”

“Yes sir, how can I be of assistance?”

“Your name has been given to me as someone who is an excellent dog trainer but is also the soul of discretion.”

The alarm bells started to ring…

Over the years, I have been asked to solve problems without the knowledge of a partner. (See Dogs in the Bedroom,) I didn’t encourage this, but if the problem intrigued me and no harm was done, then I accepted the commission.

“It’s quite simple. I purchased a very expensive dog from a top breeder of working Labradors. He has a superb pedigree, and with a bit of time on my hands, I thought I would join the local working dog club. I have had working dogs in the past so I thought that I knew pretty well what I was doing, however, I have a bit of a problem. To compound the issue my problem is my own ego as having bragged about how wonderful this dog is going to be,”

“It’s quite simple, really; my dog won’t go in the water.”

“Assuming that you have tried, can you give me any idea why your dog is reluctant to enter the water,” I asked.

The deathly silence that followed said it all, in fact I could have probably guessed what was coming.

“Well I was advised to push him into the water, I have a lake in my grounds you see. I now realise that the advice I was given was no good.”

“You are absolutely correct. It’s an extremely bad idea and can cause irreparable harm. Teaching a reluctant dog to swim is, in fact, a very simple process and generally takes no more than a few minutes. In this situation, it may be necessary to repair the damage before moving on.”

The visit

A visit was arranged, and I met Mr Jeremy Carrington and his dog Shadow.

“My client raised his hands and indicated his failure. I got it totally wrong. I just hope that I haven’t done any damage.” I do truly love Shadow, and you know what, even if he won’t swim, it’s ok. He is my companion dog most of all, and for a short time, my priorities were wrong.”

“Ok, let’s see if we can sort it. Please show me the lake.”

“It’s like this: either this is going to take many weeks, or maybe we can do this in one go. However, you may not be too enthusiastic when I tell you what I want you to do.”

“Let’s go for it.” He said enthusiastically as I surveyed what was a small but deep lake

“Quite simply” I said.  “I want you to get your swimming trunks on and go into the water.”

“You have to be joking; it’s November; have you any idea how bloody cold it’s going to be in the water.”

I said nothing, I waited as he weighed up his options. Finally, the mark of the man emerged.

“Ok, I’ll do it, but are you sure that this is going to work.”

“No but you can’t do any more harm and it’s possible that we get a result and If it does you will save weeks of work and a lot of money.”

Suitable attire

We returned to the house, and Mr Carrington retired to his bathroom. He emerged wearing a navy blue dressing gown, and we headed back to the lake. He disrobed and displayed a t-shirt and a very colourful pair of beach shorts. Unfortunately, I allowed myself a hint of a smile, which was observed by my client. Mr Carrington glanced down at his beach attire, grinned, and commented.

“Chosen by the wife.”

“You are not alone,” I replied.

“When you are ready, you enter the water until I ask you to stop.”

Mr Carrington gingerly dipped his toe in the water and looked decidedly unimpressed.

He uttered several observations on the temperature of the water and it has to be said none of them were very scientific, but without doubt they were somewhat profane in nature. By the time the water had reached his knees Shadow was straining to follow his master so I released him but at the edge he still wouldn’t even get a paw wet.

“Go further,” I instructed. “And call Shadow.”

This was greeted with a further chorus of bad language but I wasn’t particularly sympathetic, in my book it was fair reparation for the indignity he had inflicted on Shadow and whilst it wasn’t my intention to humiliate my client, his comfort or lack of it wasn’t my number one priority. Getting the job done was.

As the water had reached his master’s waist, Shadow threw himself into the water and proceeded to swim. I’m not sure who was more delighted.

“YEEESS. Roared Mr Carrington and proceeded to plunge further into the lake.

I looked on with a huge degree of satisfaction as I watched Jeremy Carrington and Shadow swimming along side each other. Doing what I did was never going to guarantee success but fortunately in this case the damage done to Shadow by being thrown into the lake was minimal.

Master and dog eventually emerged from their mutual swim

Mr Carrington wrapped himself in a very pristine white towel and offered the other one to me.

“Could you give him a rubdown?” He asked.

“I can, but this white towel isn’t going to stay white.”

“I know, and I’m going to get a huge rocket from the wife, but I am so chuffed that I don’t care.”

“Wow, that was amazing. I can’t thank you enough.”

Restoration

We eventually retired to the house, where we indulged in a glass of single malt whisky, Glenfiddich if I remember correctly. According to Mr Carrington, he needed it for medicinal purposes as it would assist in his recovery after being submerged in cold water and me as a bonus for a job well done.

I am not sure how medicinal whisky is and would need to consult a doctor as to its medicinal value, as for myself I considered myself deserved of a tot of the hard stuff as I modestly congratulated myself in a successful job done.

Mr Carrington paid my fee and we parted company.

For those who want a fairly certain way to encourage a reluctant dog into the water, this is the way, although I suggest a warm, sunny day!!