To cuddle or not to cuddle. That is the question.
This week the article is short but is so very very important as getting this wrong can have a profound effect on your dog’s wellbeing and yours as well. The relationship between owner and dog depends on your understanding of how your dog’s mind works. As a canine your dog is logical. Unfortunately, you as a human are totally illogical; your behaviour is influenced by ideology, religion, politics and just about any subject you can think of. Dogs have to tolerate our ludicrously inconsistent behaviour for their entire lives. The dog connects two consecutive incidents. Therefore the timing AND response to your dog’s behaviour is critical.
It all seems so simple; distressed dog, give it a cuddle and in some instances that is correct. For example in the instance of finding cold wet miserable puppies prematurely separated from their mum they obviously need lots of cuddles.
There are, however, times when cuddles are totally inappropriate, this particularly applies to dealing with the fear of thunder, fireworks, traffic, separation anxiety and other problems and is the point of this article.
Most people assume that the distress is caused by the noise and in the case of fireworks this is usually correct but in some of these instances, other factors contribute to the problem. Regarding thunder, it should be understood that the sensitivity of the dog’s ear is such that the high frequency causes genuine discomfort.
In the case of traffic not only is the noise a factor but if the sight of an articulated lorry hurtling in the dog’s direction is not enough then the slipstream of the offending vehicle is the final straw. Separation anxiety is a recognised condition and sometimes needs specialist assistance. Things are not always as they appear.
If the dog shows distress regardless of the cause them we tend to do what we would do with a distressed child, we cuddle and reassure but to a dog, this sounds like praise because we will use exactly the same words and voice tones as we would If we were pleased with the dog’s behaviour. So the dog thinks; I hear noise, I am distressed, I shiver and shake and my human is pleased, and what’s more I get a cuddle and if I am really lucky I might even get a titbit. So the bad habit continues and as time goes by the problem becomes chronic.
The dog becomes more distressed and all the time it’s because we get it wrong.
Temporarily residing in my house is Lucy, a beagle type dog, born of a terrified stray mum with equally terrified siblings now learning very slowly that life can be enjoyed. Not only born terrified but then two years stuck in a shelter. The desire to cuddle and stroke Lucy, in the hope that she would feel better is overwhelming but I am aware that it would be disastrous.
Lucy’s story will appear in the future.
Remember the golden rule. If the dog’s behaviour is what we want it to be for the rest of its life then praise, reward and cuddles are correct but if the behaviour is not what we want, ignore and show no reaction.
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop and the other is carrying it for him, who do you think is in charge?”
Jerry Seinfeld