Hercules

The following occurred whilst I was working as a volunteer veterinary nurse in Greece. I worked both on the mainland and on the islands.

As the Greek military is very sensitive to any discussion regarding the location of military bases, I have deliberately withheld any information that could lead to the identification of the site.

An added twist to the story was the appearance of a volunteer called Maria. Let’s start with Maria.

She was a very attractive, well-developed young lady. The day was particularly hot, high 30s, low 40s. Most of us were wearing the minimum degree of clothing that was permissible in polite company. Maria, however, could never be accused of being shy and retiring! Both the skimpy top and the shortest of shorts would have tested the resolve of a Trappist monk. Maria was, despite her poor dress sense, a fearless and highly skilled dog handler and an invaluable asset on neutering session days.

The day started normally and as I glanced at the schedule I noticed that at eleven o’clock, we were expecting a military guard dog called Hercules. Military dogs are an unknown quantity. One can never be certain what to expect. This could be a highly trained dog with an experienced handler, or a complete headbanger that could be unpredictable or even dangerous.

At precisely eleven o’clock, the military vehicle arrived; four young men alighted, resplendent in their uniforms, followed by a junior officer. All five went to the rear of the lorry and dropped the tailgate to reveal Hercules. Now any attempt to identify a specific breed was doomed to failure. What I can confidently state was that he had the appearance of a Pyrenean Mountain dog on steroids. He was massive. As we peered in, it was obvious that Hercules was asleep. The military guard dog, roused by the murmuring of the crowd rose, stretched, yawned, surveyed the assembled group, laid down and promptly went back to sleep! It was obvious that this was no ordinary highly-trained military canine prepared to defend the troops with his life. Apart from the obvious fact that his origins were unknown, he appeared to have difficulty staying awake.

Matters were now complicated by the appearance of the comely Maria. The four young men took one look, their eyes stood out like organ stops and we were all in danger of being trampled in the crush as they all rushed forward to be the first in line to try to impress. For a moment chaos reigned, until the lads’ officer forcibly reminded them why they were there.

I prepared the pre-med injection designed to make Hercules drowsy and prepare him for anaesthesia. Needless to say, this giant of a dog showed no interest in the proceedings; again he scratched, yawned and went back to sleep. I was not convinced that administering an anaesthetic was even necessary as he gave the impression that he could sleep through the entire procedure! The anaesthetic was given and Hercules fell into a deep sleep and proceeded to snore. The appropriate antibiotics, pain relief and de-wormer were also given and the four young soldiers proceeded to lift Hercules onto the operating table.

The history of Hercules

Whilst the operation took place, the history of Hercules emerged. He had turned up at the military camp as a young puppy. At the start the men fed him from their own rations but as the puppy grew to gigantic proportions the cook was persuaded to provide extra food. The men became very fond of their outsize canine companion and declared him the camp guard dog. The camp commander who had the power of veto, decided that as long as no excessive costs were incurred, then Hercules could stay. There was, however, one small problem. As Hercules grew up it was discovered that his only other passion apart from sleeping, was lady dogs! He would occasionally go “Absent without Leave” as his nose alerted him that a female was available in the vicinity. Hence Hercules being on the operating table!

It transpired that the men, in order to keep their “guard dog” were obliged to acquire everything that Hercules needed at minimal cost so as not to draw the unwanted attention of the camp commander. In all honesty I had no doubt that the commander knew exactly what was happening, but being a wise senior officer, he knew the benefit of letting his men keep Hercules as a sort of mascot. Without a doubt, the presence of Hercules was good for morale and the commander would have been aware of this.

The operation to neuter Hercules was quickly over and a thorough examination and a question and answer session revealed the cause of Hercules ability to sleep. Whilst the soldiers understood that puppies needed lots of sleep periods and this was his lifestyle whilst he was growing  up , now he was the giant that he was wanted by all the troops. Hercules did day guard duty, night guard duty and when he wasn’t “on duty” the men played with him. The veterinary surgeon issued strict instructions as to the suitable future lifestyle for Hercules to the junior officer which included regular sleep periods. The officer indulgently waited with Hercules as he recovered from the anaesthetic, while his men spent the next hour competing with each other to impress the delightful Maria.

Finally with Hercules completely awake, he was loaded onto the lorry, the men reluctantly gave up their pursuit of Maria, jumped on board and with much waving they departed back to camp.

Later that evening we were all having a meal and chatting over the day’s events. I remarked that the men were inventive and were maybe a little cheeky getting Hercules neutered for free by a charity. I wondered how they had managed it. I also said that the camp commander was, in my opinion, a fairly decent chap. The vet agreed and gave me a conspiratorial smile. Did she know something that I didn’t know? Yes, the commander was indeed a fairly decent chap because, unknown to his men, he had made a substantial donation to the charity on the understanding that his involvement was not disclosed!!