Smokers Beware

Details have been changed to preserve anonymity.

Mr Maxwell was a recently retired lorry driver Having spent a lifetime “on the road” he was enjoying his retirement. He was a big man and the waistband of his trousers reached mid-chest and was held up with braces. I suspect that a belt wasn’t made to hold up this man’s trousers as not only was he a big man but he had the biggest beer belly I have ever seen. To be truthful I am not sure how he even got behind the wheel!

The problem was with Duke his Rhodesian Ridgeback normally a happy good-natured dog but his behaviour had become rather erratic.

Like his owner, he was overweight, lacked exercise, rather lethargic and had developed a strange habit. The smell of stale tobacco hung in the air in the house and everything had a yellowish hue and it was made worse by the fact that the scent receptors in Mr Maxwell nose were probably incapable of smelling anything and as he was a bachelor there was nobody to tell him that the house smelled disgusting or how to clean properly. Quite frankly the smell was so bad even I felt queasy and I have a fairly strong stomach.

It transpired that Mr Maxwell had finally decided that years of drinking and smoking plus lack of exercise had taken a heavy toll on his health and a visit to the Doctor had convinced him that a change of lifestyle was in order. He should stop drinking and smoking.

Now Mr Maxwell had been in the habit of smoking whilst driving his lorry with Duke next to him in the cab and now retired he had done the same thing sitting in his armchair smoking and sipping best brandy with Duke curled up at his feet. Being a man with an iron will he decided to stop both pleasures immediately.

There was just one problem, what Mr Maxwell hadn’t calculated on was not only was he addicted, so was Duke! And while he was willing to go “cold turkey” poor Duke was suffering withdrawal symptoms. This manifested itself by Duke licking the arms of his master’s chair plus other items of furniture in order to get his daily “fix.”

This was totally outside my remit and I forcibly suggested that a visit to the veterinary surgeon was necessary. This was a veterinary problem and would require specialist advice and prescribed medication.

What followed was bittersweet, Mr Maxwell joined a slimming club and became a champion slimmer. He then went on to be a vocal campaigner for the abolition of smoking.

His vociferous opposition to smoking probably had something to do with the fact that his beloved pet Duke, despite overcoming the smoke addiction, died relatively young.

A post-mortem showed extensive lung damage.