The sayings of Lulu
I was engaged to assist the Extra One (see The dog with no Name), a prospect that I always looked forward to despite the fact that we had very little in common. My infamous loathing of getting involved with anything to do with large quantities of water was, of course, in direct conflict with her love of sailing the seven seas. On this occasion, she brought a colleague, the inimitable Lulu.
Assisting two veterinary surgeons can sometimes be stressful and thoroughly exhausting, so I was a trifle wary.
On arrival, Lulu immediately gave me a very warm embrace that lasted longer than normal, and I must admit it was a very pleasurable experience. Lulu turned out to be an extremely attractive young lady with a dazzling smile, and I was then treated to the first of Lulu’s sayings.
“I give hugs, and it encourages people to do the same.”
A more languid approach
My older readers will recognise what I am referring to when I say that Lulu immediately reminded me of the sixties; hippies, flower power and the peace movements of my youth. A time when young people started to protest against war and demanded that our politicians show that they had a social conscience.
She wore a long colourful skirt, had long hair and had that slow way of talking that was the fashion at the time. She almost looked as if she was struggling to remain awake. In my mind’s eye I could just see Lulu swaying gently to the sounds of sixties icons like Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Roy Orbison and Donovan. The obvious question came to the fore. Was her languid approach to life going to influence her skills as a veterinary surgeon knowing as I did that no matter how good a vet she was, the question would be, is she be able to cope with the rigours of the life of a charity vet? Some volunteers can’t. Those that work in big city clinics with all the backup that is available to them find this world so daunting. In their world, most days are planned, and even emergencies can be easily managed, but in the world of the charity vet, you have no idea what is coming through the door next as the cat and dog catchers find strays for neutering and come across injuries from fighting, abscesses, infected wounds even broken legs and very occasionally amputations. The charity vet has to cope with all this without hesitation. These animals are already in distress, their injuries can be days, weeks, or even months old, and there is no time to delay. A big city vet can put an injured animal in a cage and order blood tests, X-rays, scans and just about any test known to man.
A charity vet, however, could even be working in a tent with light provided by the headlights of a car. It’s like a military surgeon working under battlefield conditions. The survival of the patient depends totally on the skill of the surgeon. It’s a bit like M*A*S*H. but without the frills, and there is definitely no “Hot Lips Houlihan!!”
The following morning we prepared for work, and it became quite clear that Lulu took her duties seriously. Wearing a full set of scrubs and with her luxurious hair piled up and under an operating cap the delightful Lulu immediately immersed herself and showed no hesitation with what she faced, and her laid-back attitude bellied her ability. She was an exemplary veterinary surgeon. She did, however, have a habit of talking to herself whilst operating. A couple of times, I thought that she was talking to me, and when I questioned her on this subject, I was given another Lulu saying.
“It’s perfectly ok to talk to yourself because you are guaranteed a conversation with an intelligent person.”
I now spend a lot of time talking to myself. I blame Lulu!!
“I’m not weird…”
Our first day ended, and after supper, I was introduced to the way that Lulu relaxed as she took a pebble and a set of indelible markers and drew freehand the most complex and intricate designs on the pebble. Then came the only time that I was unsure if she was pulling my leg as I complimented her on a particularly complicated design she uttered.
“Some people think I am weird, but I’m not weird; I’m gifted.”
The following morning we all woke up to the rather unusual sight of rain. Normally between April and November, it is rare in the far southeast of Crete to get rain, and fortunately, it passes very quickly but of course, it would hamper the work of the cat and dog catchers, and my comment brought about the latest muse from Lulu. I’m not sure of its relevance to the situation, but probably in the world of Lulu, I’m sure it made total sense.
“No ducks have ever drowned by being out in the rain.”
I didn’t like to point out that our patients were cats and dogs without a duck in sight, but by now, I realised that I was in the presence of somebody whose thought process was so far removed from mine that we might as well be on different planets.
As we listened to the radio whilst having breakfast, the usual catastrophes that prevail these days were all there; war, flood, famine, political mayhem as the world’s politicians compete to show us which one is even more incompetent and corrupt than his predecessor. As we listened, the news became more gloomy with each item, but the delightful Lulu came out with her final comment. Without a doubt a throwback to the era of my youth. It confirmed what I had suspected from the very beginning of the time I had met Lulu; she had been born 30 years too late. She should have been a hippy spending her days in meditation, having flowers in her hair and wearing sandals.
Well, perhaps it is just as well that she hadn’t been born earlier, as modern veterinary medicine would have lost a particularly talented veterinary surgeon.
And her comment on the news of that day?
It was so reminiscent of the sixties and so Lulu. With her laid-back demeanour and her half-closed eyes, she uttered…..
“I want to bring love to the world.”
“The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.”
James Thurber
NB. Sagacity: wisdom, intelligence, understanding, judgement, insight, astuteness.